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The Car Behind  (Tune: five nights drunk)  (Bert Hansell)

I was driving home from work last night
With nothing on my mind
When in my rear view mirror
I saw a car behind

He was hollering, he was honking
He was trying to get past
If he got any closer 
then he’d be right up my Arse

I pulled on over to the side
And hoped that he’d get by
He was so busy making gestures 
that he didn’t even try

I thought if I went fast enough 
Then maybe that would do
But I was doing ninety 
and he stuck to me like glue

He was hollering, he was honking
He was trying to get past
If he got any closer 
then he’d be right up my Arse

The guy must be an idiot
I will put it blunt
I can’t go any faster now
‘cos there’s a car in front

He really is a slow one
He’s as slow as he can be
The limit here is fifty five
He’s doing twenty three

I thought if I got close enough 
Then maybe I’d sneak by
But every time I try it
He pulls out really wide

Here’s a stretch of three lane
I’ll get by for sure
But when I try to pass him
He guns it to the floor

Finally I get past him
And what do think I find
The car that was the car in front 
Becomes the  car behind

He was hollering, he was honking
He was trying to get past
If he got any closer 
then he’d be right up my Arse

Copyright Bert Hansell, 2004