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| Word | Slang | Example or comment |
| Arse | Bottle and Glass | Note: Arsey also means aggression and/or courage, so 'I've lost me bottle' means 'I'm scared'. |
| Arse | Khyber Pass | You're asking for a kick up the Khyber where the movie "Carry On up the Khyber" got its name |
| Balls | Cobbler's Awls | That's a load o' bleedin' cobble rs. |
| Bed | Uncle Ned | |
| Beer | Pig's Ear | |
| Bog (WC.) | See a Man about a dog | I'm goin' ta see a man abaht a dog! |
| Boots | Daisy Roots | |
| Boozer | Battle Cruiser | |
| Bottle | Aristotle | Cockneys will tell you that 'Arry Stotle was a famous jockey. Note: Aristotle, Aris for short, means bottle and bottle means arse therefore Aris also can mean Arse depending on context. |
| Car | Jam Jar | |
| Cheese | Cough and sneeze | pronounced 'corfan' Put some corfan in yer norfan |
| Cold | Tater's in the Mold | See also - Hot, dark & late It's bleedin' taters |
| Crap | Pony and Trap | I'm goin' fer a pony.S |
| Cunt | Berkshire Hunt | "He's a right Berk!" Note that Berkshire is pronounced 'Barksheer' but in Berk the 'er' is pronounced as in 'her'. |
| Dark | Taters in the park | Let's go 'ome before it gets taters |
| Door | Rory O'Moore | Shut the bleedin' Rory! |
| Eyes | Mince pies | |
| Face | Boat Race | |
| Fart | Raspberry Tart | Also a fart noise made by mouth |
| Feet | Plates of Meat | |
| Fire | Aunt Mariah | Put a bit o' Do Me Good on the Aunt Mariah. |
| Fuck | Love a Duck | |
| Hair | Barnet Fair | |
| Head | Loaf of Bread | Use yer bleedin' loaf |
| Hot | Taters in the pot | Most likely the first 'taters' Different ones are distinguished by context |
| Kids | God Forbids or Gawd forbids | |
| Kids | Stove Lids | |
| Late | Taters on the plate | Git a move on, we're gonna be taters |
| Mate | China Plate | 'Wotcha me ol' china!' Can be your buddy or your wife. |
| Mouth | North and South | Pronounced norfan As in the song 'what a mouth, what a mouth what a norfan souf |
| Piddle | Jimmy Riddle (also known as 'James Conundrum') | I'm goin for a Jimmy. |
| Piss | Hit and Miss | |
| Poo | Number Two. | |
| Prick | Hampton Wick | Wick is only pronounced for emphasis it is usually just 'ampton. |
| Pub | Rub a Dub | |
| Road | Frog and Toad | I'm going for a ball of chalk dahn the frog and toad |
| Shit | Tom Tit. | |
| Socks | Almond Rocks | |
| Socks | Tilbury Docks | I can't find me bleedin' Tilburys |
| Stairs | Apples and Pairs | |
| Teeth | Hampstead Heath | Tommy Steele has a fine set of 'ampsteads |
| Time | Bird Lime | What's the Bird? Also jail time |
| Walk | Ball of chalk | A lump of chalk used by bricklayers |
| Wank | J. Arthur Rank | |
| Wank | Ham Shank | |
| Water | Fisherman's Daughter | |
| Wife | Trouble and strife | |
| Wife | Duchess of Fife | As in the song 'Dear ol' Dutch' |
| Wood | Do Me Good | Pronounced as one word Doomeegood. |